Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Twins call for father's release!

Hello all

Dolores here, once again, struggling to keep head above water whilst husband dines at taxpayers expense. He is hopefully seeing the magistrate tomorrow, but has already asked to be put on the witness protection programme after receiving 3 death threats. I'm already looking around to see how many empty boxes we have lying around.

I told the twins what had happened to their father as soon as he was arrested. At first they were a little unconcerned, but when they found out about the scale of charges they started to talk in a language that suggested they had suddenly discovered the phenomenon of loyalty. It got so bad after a few calls to their boarding school that Twin X even insisted in copying Ravel and issuing an open statement of support for his father. Unprecedented, I tell you. Next thing you know they'll be camping outside the station and refusing to eat until he is released.

Anyways, here is Twin X, in his own words. Please bear in mind he is only 12, and appears to be going through a phase of thinking he is from 'the ghetto'

'Are ya listening?

I was in bed in me crib when Mumsy rang to tell me that Dad had been arrested by the Feds and is now in HMP. Are ya listening yeah? He didn't do nothing. If any pussios want to disagree with me I'll get strapped up and get my brethren round to talk to them and we'll make em smoke their Nan's ashes through their crack pipes. Me and my bro are sending out this message yeah? Our Dad's gonna bust case yeah? The Feds and all them other dickheads are chattin shit about what my Dad's done. If my Dad gets a big man's sentence yeah, he'll ride it out on his bogbrush, he won't let no batty boys chat no shit to him. Whatever dem who chat bubbles say, he's not some neeky guy yeah?

Allow it man. '


Gorilla Bananas said...

All this macho talk will achieve nothing, young man. As it is, your name is mud because of the gerbil incident. And talk about "batty boys" is the last thing your father needs to hear.

Katie said...

hmmm Dolores

I do think that you need to wash twin X's mouth out with soap - his language is a lot on the strong side for a little boy, I worry that he'll do neither himself or dear Joseph any favours. And to be honest Dolores you don't really want the new baby crawling round saying 'dickhead chattin shit' really do you - imagine what the Health Visitor would say!

Stay strong


ps is there anyway that the word verification could be written in plain text cos my eyes are really struggling with them and I keep getting knocked back :(

Anonymous said...

Katie ... word verification in plain text. YES PLEASE !!!

Dr. & Mrs. McC ... any chance ?