Friday, April 28, 2006

Oh no, here comes the weekend....

Sorry for the lack of activity these past days. I have been encumbered with preparations for two major events happening this weekend. The first is the visit of my mother in law, Mrs McHaggarty. You may recall from an earlier post that she is a woman with whom I have a slightly difficult relationship. Several precautions need to be taken whenever she visits, including a complete inventory of all valuables in the institute before she arrives. The second major event is our annual survey of the local hedgehog population. This is an on-going project where we are monitoring the parasitic fauna of these nocturnal insectivores to detet any changes due to global warming. The results have not yet been published, so I am unfortunately not able to tell you anything more at this juncture.

A hedgehog, shortly before dissection


Other news....

Ravel (my trusty Romanian research assistant) has not reported in since the official ending of his official leave. He set off some time ago to traverse the route of Hadrian's wall after hearing from someone in the village that to do so would bring twenty years of good luck. I am becoming slightly perturbed, as he normally as reliable as Mrs Dr McC's weekly replacement of the Institutes toilet roll (partly used or not). He did send one postcard that arrived yesterday, where his unfamilarity with this system of holiday messages clearly showed.....

Hadrian's wall, defaced!

I will wait for another day or so before alerting the authorities - after all he is a fully grown adult and should be able to look after himself without too much trouble. If he is not back by Monday then I'll call the missing persons helpline, or something.

Must dash, I hear the sound of clogs (Mrs McHaggarty's preferred footwear).

5 comments:

Charlie said...

Let me see if I have this incorrectly. You are taking an inventory of Mrs McHaggarty because she has parasitic fauna, and Ravel, along with a fellow named Hadrian, have disappeared with your valuables and portions of the toilet paper. Was it Mrs Dr, then, who defaced a perfectly good wall?

My reading, you see, is nearly as poor as my hearing, causing a fair amount of confusion.

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Pooper - tsk, you need to rearrange your neurons my friend. They are getting you all confused. It must be the toxoplasma flaring up.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

How will the parasitic fauna tell you about global warming Dr. M? Will they be wearing sweaters?

I have the same problem with my mother and my mother-in-law, except that rather than steal material possessions they are attempting to run off with my sanity. Lock up your brain, stuff your ears and nose with hedgehog tummy dander and breathe through a mouth tube which runs to the outdoors, 'til she leaves.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You mother-in-law's petty thefts seem like a cry for attention. It's a pity that Ravel is not there to keep her occupied. I expect she would make good use of a manservant.

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Sam: The hypothesis goes that as the ground temperature increases the soil becomes more suitable for the eggs of the parasites, and therefore each egg lives longer. As a result, Thhe average hedgehogs ingests more viable eggs per unit time, which grow into more parasites, which produce more eggs, which pass out of the hedgehog and so on. Where it will stop, nobody knows....

GB: An interesting suggestion there. What really lies at the heart of her kleptomania I have no idea. I could try some subtle probing (I have a diploma in Psychological Assessment and Re-orientation) to test your hyopthesis...